06.02.2021 в 14:57
The post-SPN meteoric rise of Misha CollinsURL комментария
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MishaCollins: @ DestielMoistens of course
DestielMoistens: @ MishaCollins what was that baby you ate made out of? Was it like a soy protein thing or what lol
Misha shook his head and looked at his other mentions for the reassuring "choke me daDDY//" that he had come to rely on as part of his morning routine.
Well, there was such a message, but not from M33shm33gos. But from someone with the same avatar but named FuckyDoneGotMeFuckedUpFamFUCKYEAH2021. But hey, the message was still there. That's what mattered.
But what the hell did that handle mean? And wasn't it too long for Twitter?
While he was out there grinding, the world had moved on without him. Twitter, his steady companion, his loyal steed, had changed.
What else had changed?
MINIONS CHORUS: DESTIEL PAVED THE WAY FOR THE CANON YOU GET TODAY
Damn. That was a good idea for a t-shirt. Misha made a note in his phone.
***
Misha looked at the sсript they had handed him, for his very first episode of NCIS: Cleveland. Back in the warm and loving embrace of the NCIS family.
He read over it a couple of times, then looked up and tried to calmly count to ten. He asked no one in particular, "Okay, very funny, haze the new guest star. Where's my real sсript?"
A harried production assistant slowed just enough to ask him who he was.
"MISHA. COLLINS."
"That... is the sсript. Everyone got the same sсript Mr. Cullins."
"COLLINS."
"Yes! Sorry."
"So this isn't a joke? This isn’t like a really obvious (flattering, but obvious) homage to my star turn on Riverdale?”
The PA stopped. “You were on Riverdale?”
“Yes I was... I ate a baby, it was a big scene. Fangoria ranked it as the 17th creepiest moment on television for 2021.”
"Well, sir, we are a CBS show. We don't know how you do things up in Hollywood of the Great White North, but we here at CBS do not joke."
So it was true. Here it in his first sсript for NCIS: Cleveland, his first step back into the harsh light of show business, he played a character with the name Cornelius (maybe they'd forgotten to put the last name), whose name at NCIS, on their plasma screen crime display, was BABYEATER.
The Babyeater storyline was wrapped up sooner than expected, and the death of his character seemed pretty... final. (Crammed into a trash compactor. Were there NO ORIGINAL IDEAS ANYMORE?)
He approached a production assistant who he had once seen talk to a guy who he knew, for a fact, had lunch with a dude on Wednesdays who was almost cordial with one of the execs.
"You could bring me back," he explained breathlessly.
"I'm sorry, have we --?"
"I WAS THE BABYEATER! Your big two-part premiere?!”
"Right, of course, uh --"
"You could bring me back! Like maybe I didn't really die? You know, like 'oh it's a different character in this same form.' Or like a twin brother or something."
"Sir, we don't know how you did it up there in America's Socialist Toque, but here in the United States of CBS, once a character is dead, they stay dead. Especially when they were shoved into a trash compactor after eating many, many adorable babies. Deaths are final. We don't pull our punches."
Misha sighed. Yes, here, free of the sci-fi ghetto, he imagined that was the way it had to be. He was working with grown-ups now. Professionals. Roles began and ended organically. It was clean. Efficient. It forced one to --
The man who talked to the man who had lunch with the man who was almost cordial with an exec added, "I mean... unless they have a really high Q score or something."
MINIONS CHORUS: Hollywood just isn't ready for Misha!
NCIS: Well, we actually film in Cleveland from a very generous grant from the Ohio Film Coun --
MINIONS CHORUS: HOLLYWOOD 👏 JUST 👏 ISN'T 👏 READY 👏 FOR 👏 MISHA 👏 👏 👏
***
He tells himself he's just taking another break, that sometimes things happen for a reason. He's walking by a convenience store, wondering if he might want some kale chips, and then he sees it: Jensen's face on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. Mocking him with his charming but cocky grin and the distinguished laugh lines. His hair that was messy enough to be roguish --
The man behind the register slapped the front counter impatiently. "Buddy, if you're gonna read the whole thing, you might as well pay the four bucks."
He was not mentioned in the article.
"Well, Twitter still loves me," he murmured to himself and took out his phone.
@ jensenackles didn’t mention me in his Entertainment Weekly exclusive but I know that they mentioned me and that he gazed at them warmly. #youcantdenyit
But he had no mentions from ...Fucky whatever. None.
He checked to make sure FuckyWhatever's account still existed. Twitter sometimes got fascist with these purges.
FuckyWhatever had been tweeting all morning. From what he could gather, FuckyWhatever was really, really excited. About something. But he couldn't really make sense of the words.
Well, if something big had happened in FuckyWhatever's life... some things were more important than him. Some things were more important than Twitter. Allegedly.